Entries
Stories of mine //
Blogged on : Saturday, June 15, 2013
Blogged at : 12:15 AM
Just really glad that the blog havent been removed.
Could just take this little space to vent and complain a little.
Who knows? Maybe she'll be here reading all my vents.
To be in a point of direct tone,
i've been hurt, i've been abandoned.
but why? why do i still feel so much for you?
I tried giving myself some time.
Some time to lead my own life without you.
What i realized is that it's getting harder each day.
Every time i read a tweet that you post,
Sad. Tired. Sick. Moody.
My heart would automatically sink.
心软? Totally.
I asked myself, if i'm stupid?
Stupid to still care so much..
My heart responded. No.
It's what ive been doing,
it's what that i want to do,
and what i need to do.
Fact:
I miss you. hell of a lot.
its like, every single thing that i do, will remind me of you.
lets just name some of the basic things i do daily..
Sleeping: Dreaming of you.
Before sleeping: hugging the pillow you gave to me.
Bathing: putting on clothes that you bought for me.
Playing Computer: Using the keyboard that you bought for my birthday.
Going out: The sling bag you bought me for my birthday.
Working: Reminds me of us working together.
Taking bus: Looking at the empty seat beside me that you usually sit.
Using my phone: Would randomly just pop my mind to think about you.
I have been trying, trying real hard to keep myself busy.
Hoping that one day, i'll slowly forget and start moving on.
But as i looked at the calendar, i've got mixed feelings coming in.
1st July's approaching.
I don't know if it'll affect you or not, but i got affected A LOT.
Happy memories that we have keep coming to me.
While thinking back was putting a smile on me.
But when i came back to reality, sane, awake,
i have to face it, that it's no longer the same..
Every night when the time hits 12,
its another day nearer to the date.
Are there anything i can do? on this Special day?
Friends that have been enlisting this week.
They all got something i got real jealous'd with.
Shaving their heads before going in,
having their love one there to witness their entry to NS.
Me? I'm all lonely, hoping that things would get better, maybe one day..
Really not sure, and wanna know how have you been doing.
I wanna know what youre thinking.
Am i still there in your heart?
I really wish to know.
Because ultimately, no matter what happens,
you still own my heart.
Owning like a fucking champ.
Jaylus ):
